11 SIMILARITIES BETWEEN NEW PARENTS AND DRUG ADDICTS

1.  You can only think about one thing.  Your new baby!  Is there anything else? Except maybe the story of her birth.  Oh and the way she held your hand right afterward.  By the way, have you noticed that her eyes are changing color?  Do you think she is hungry?  I understand there are wars going on in the world, but why do you think every little newborn outfit comes with tiny bibs?  

2.  Your friends change.  If you’ve been wondering where your childless friends have gone see Number 1 above.  Back in the heyday of your youth you had all sorts of friends.  They did different things.  They represented a wide range of interests.  Then you had children.  Soon you found that people without a little white baby splurge on their shoulders just don’t get you (or maybe they don’t want to get too close, I’m not sure, it’s all a blur, and really, you don’t care anymore).   After a year you look around and everyone you mingle with has the same one-track mind you.  It’s not that everyone else is doing it, it’s that you are only hanging out with those that do.

2.  You’re up all night.  Meth addicts may be more famous for working on their cars at 3AM, but new parents are up at the same time slowly driving around the neighborhood in a desperate effort to get snookums to sleep.

DON’T GET SCAMMED! TWELVE CLASSIC CONS TO AVOID.

We’ve all made bad investments before. Something sounds like a great idea, you’re so excited, and then, uh, it doesn’t work out. It is common to feel shame when you’ve made a bad call. Shame is a powerful emotion. You don’t want to tell anyone. You’re embarrassed. Everything feels murky. You’re confused about
what went wrong. You don’t want people to know. And that, my friends, is why con artists thrive. 

HOW CAN MY FAVORITE ANIMAL GET PROTECTION UNDER THE ENDANGERED SPECIES ACT?

Critically endangered black rhinoceros.

Despite this fabulous photo of a rhino, my favorite endangered animals are whales.  You’ll have to read to the end to see an amazing whale photo.  Just this morning my friend told me that when humans are out trying to capture baby orcas and put them in prisons (like Sea World) the daddy orcas swim along the surface trying to lure the humans in one direction while the mommy and baby orcas swim underwater in the other direction.  If we didn’t have helicopters and sonar the trick might work, but we do and it doesn’t.

HOW CAN I HELP A FRIEND IN CRISIS? FOUR SIMPLE TIPS TO GET THOUGH COMPLICATED SITUATIONS.

As an attorney I’m often called on in a crisis.

 Someone has done something terrible, someone hates their spouse, someone got hurt, someone has died. I’m called. I jump in. Things (usually!) settle down.

Being an attorney, I have some advantages in this area (and cold-hearted b!#ch isn’t the main one, by the way, but the ability to stay calm in the midst of metaphorical or even actual blood and gore does help.)

But you don’t need to be an attorney to do a lot of what I do.

 In fact, if you follow these simple guidelines you may be able to get things under control yourself:

 1. Look for the resources. 

Most of the time the person or people in crisis are in that particular crisis for the first time in their lives and they have absolutely no idea what resources are available to them if only they looked around. 

CONTINGENCY FEE, RETAINER FEE, FIXED FEE— WHAT DO THESE MEAN AND HOW MUCH IS MY LAWYER GOING TO CHARGE?

Okay, I admit it.  We lawyers use so many different terms for the different types of fees we charge, if you didn’t know what a wholesome and compassionate bunch we are you might suspect that we’re throwing legalese about just to distract you while our staff reaches into your pocket book.

Ask Roxy understands your confusion.  On my own website I try to be very clear about my pricing.

I’ll break it down for you here:

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I WANT TO SELL GIFT CERTIFICATES AT MY NEW BUSINESS. ANY ISSUES?

 Like most subjects I cover here on Ask Roxy, the law regarding gift certificates is a state/federal combination, as in the federal government has some rules, your state has some rules, and they might not match up.  Of course, if there is an inconstancy between the two the federal law preempts the state law, but “inconstancy” is a term of art, folks, and your lawyer really needs to do a careful analysis in relation to the particular terms that may apply to you.